So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
