Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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