I showed him my bush... on skype.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
