Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
