either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
