I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
