If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
