it wasn't lemon gatorade
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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