i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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