she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
