I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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