so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
