sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
