it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
