Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
