I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
