I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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