I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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