I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
