Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
