Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
