Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
