We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
