Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
