I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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