is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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