I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
