There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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