I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
