[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
