THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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