About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
do herpes really smell.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
