when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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