just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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