yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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