Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
