sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
