she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
