ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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