Did you just see the Batmobile???
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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