You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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