i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
