Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
