HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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