is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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