I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
