So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
