First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
