One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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