you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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