i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
