remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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