Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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