I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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