Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize