I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
