Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
