I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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