can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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